There is a CBC documentary that may be of interest to you coming up on Feb. 4th @ 9pm on CBC-TV. Hyper Parents and Coddled Kids explores the parenting trend termed over-parenting and its impact on children. I’ll be setting my PVR, which by the way, has changed my life almost as much as my children have.
PVR made me a better wife and mother!
I too will be watching. I think it’s an emerging issue that will be in the news a lot in the future. I wrote a State of Parenting address last week, where I ranted about competitive parenting (which I believe is a subtopic of hyper parenting). If you want to read about it, feel free to check out http://ironicmom.com/2010/01/27/my-own-state-of-parenting-address/
I’m afraid if I watch it, the finger will be pointed at me! :/
As a mom and teacher I can reiterate what someone else wrote on another blog about this: most kids don’t say thank you when you give them something. It’s just taken for granted. Teachers see a lot of crying over nothing in school, and parents who charge in and want everything to suit their child. School is a microcosm of society. If they can’t cope independently here, the “real world” is going to be a rude awakening. Even the “neglectful” parents (at the other end of the spectrum) defend their kids for all kinds of wrong behaviours.
I’m not talking about severe bullying. Unfortunately the parents of the bullies have more authority than they should. But most of the problems kids face can be dealt with if they learn to stand up on their own two feet, and develop a thick(er) skin. Isn’t that what we all have to do eventually? Yes, it’s all hard. Growing up is hard. Letting your kid take his lumps is hard. I hated it too, but the alternative is far worse!!! I can say it now. They are all grown up, employed and live within their means! They are all responsible adults. Developing character does not come by accident.
Seeing the coddling and enabling with kids has helped me reinforce the importance of raising independent children and students. It isn’t easy – especially for us moms. Sadly, many women are raising kids on their own. My husband wasn’t raised in affluence, and he made sure our boys had paper routes to teach them about the value of a buck. This was a deliberate choice. Our kids also had to actually earn their allowance…not like many parents who feel it is an entitlement. What employer is goning to share that philosophy?
I’ve overheard kids laugh at their peers who do paper routes. What arrogance! The big insult these days is to call another kid “poor” at school. In the public school system you get all levels of income – just like in the real world! What a concept!
Don’t let these helicopter parents influence you. Nobody in any position of authority likes them (or often their kids)! It’s scary for us to stand up to them because they are exactly the type who would sue or try to destroy our livelihood. Along with the neglectful ones…an odd but interesting contrast.
Just because we have a few extra bucks in the bank doesn’t mean we have to blow it on “stuff” for our kids! It doesn’t make them happier, nicer people. Quite the opposite.
Teachers love parents who don’t spoil their kids. I know I’ll go the extra mile for one.